Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
