Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
