in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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