After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
