i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
