You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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