My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
