You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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