Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
