"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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