I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
