I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
how do you play pong handcuffed?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
