I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
