you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
