there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
