Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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