I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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