Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
