My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
