dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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