My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
