you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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