dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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