Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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