I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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