Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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