i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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