Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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