the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
