So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
