Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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