Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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