everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize