you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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