you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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