I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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