Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
