playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
