Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
