Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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