I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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