i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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