She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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