so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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