I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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