Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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