She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
