You really coming over, don't trick.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize