Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
