So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
