I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
