If that was your dad, he is hot
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
