i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
