i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize