I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
love makes seman taste better
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
